School's out, and I got conned into a trip to hell...I mean Disneyland. Two adults, three boys, 900 miles, and an oversized mouse. For years, I've sworn up and down that I wouldn't do Disney again with kids. I caved because I suck. 900 miles. In a car. Three boys. That mouse better be waiting with beer.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Friday, May 08, 2009
I posted about this a couple of weeks ago and must have accidentally deleted it.
My amazing friend, Jen, died after an intense fight with cancer.
I'll walk with your name on my back next week in Heaven Can Wait. Your name will be next to my mom's. I hope you'll be sitting up there in heaven with her having a beer and cheering me and the kids on while we walk. You can even make fun of us for not running.
My amazing friend, Jen, died after an intense fight with cancer.
I'll walk with your name on my back next week in Heaven Can Wait. Your name will be next to my mom's. I hope you'll be sitting up there in heaven with her having a beer and cheering me and the kids on while we walk. You can even make fun of us for not running.
Yes, I know it's been at least a thousand years, but I share the computer with a giant family and as the mom, I take last place. I should sue.
A couple of weeks ago it was really nice. I wore shorts. I got a bit of a sunburn. I hiked. I drank summer hot weather beer. I watched my dad maneuver a 50 foot RV around my driveway until he was parked between my dog kennel and a huge juniper. He's allergic to dogs and juniper. I watched my niece turn 3 and I watched my nephew devour his bear cake for his first birthday.
Then it snowed. And then it snowed some more. And then it snowed again. After that we had a windstorm, and I ran around my backyard catching the canopy that blew off my porch swing in the middle of the night. I found the canopy. I also found a tube of High & Dry deodorant. I've never heard of it, so some obscure deodorant blew into my yard during a windstorm. I can't even get over how odd that is.
After 2 weeks of cold, it was finally almost nice today. We replaced our ancient bark mulch. I had to drive Kayle's truck to pick up the bark. She's 6 inches shorter than me thanks to her dad's side of the family. She had something wedged behind the seat that meant that I couldn't move it back to drive it. Probably wouldn't have made a difference if it weren't for that fact that I'm all leg and she is no leg. I learned to drive with my knees on my ears. I survived, and we have new bark.
We finally worked out a system. I backed the truck up against the side of the utility trailer(hooked to the quad), and we'd shove bark into it. Then we could move the quad to all the places in the yard where the truck wouldn't go. It worked, but I'm so full of slivers. I've only said this for the last 16 or 17 years, but next time I'm hiring someone to blow the bark in. I hate slivers.
At least my yard looks pretty.
A couple of weeks ago it was really nice. I wore shorts. I got a bit of a sunburn. I hiked. I drank summer hot weather beer. I watched my dad maneuver a 50 foot RV around my driveway until he was parked between my dog kennel and a huge juniper. He's allergic to dogs and juniper. I watched my niece turn 3 and I watched my nephew devour his bear cake for his first birthday.
Then it snowed. And then it snowed some more. And then it snowed again. After that we had a windstorm, and I ran around my backyard catching the canopy that blew off my porch swing in the middle of the night. I found the canopy. I also found a tube of High & Dry deodorant. I've never heard of it, so some obscure deodorant blew into my yard during a windstorm. I can't even get over how odd that is.
After 2 weeks of cold, it was finally almost nice today. We replaced our ancient bark mulch. I had to drive Kayle's truck to pick up the bark. She's 6 inches shorter than me thanks to her dad's side of the family. She had something wedged behind the seat that meant that I couldn't move it back to drive it. Probably wouldn't have made a difference if it weren't for that fact that I'm all leg and she is no leg. I learned to drive with my knees on my ears. I survived, and we have new bark.
We finally worked out a system. I backed the truck up against the side of the utility trailer(hooked to the quad), and we'd shove bark into it. Then we could move the quad to all the places in the yard where the truck wouldn't go. It worked, but I'm so full of slivers. I've only said this for the last 16 or 17 years, but next time I'm hiring someone to blow the bark in. I hate slivers.
At least my yard looks pretty.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
One of my cats (Sylvester) is all about his teeth and what kind of damage he can do with them. I want to submit this picture to icanhascheezburger and I need a good caption, preferably something from a vampire movie. All I can think of is "I vant to suck your blood."
Someone out there has to have something better.
Someone out there has to have something better.
It's been just over a month since I was laid off from work. At first I had Christmas, New Year's, and the kids home on break to keep me entertained. I also had my 19th wedding anniversary. That was the day my husband got laid off too. We spent our anniversary in front of the computer trying to navigate the unemployment website. For our 20th, we'll do something much funner, like stapling our tongues to the driveway.
We've managed to accomplish all sorts of odd things.
Issues of Rolling Stone going back to 1992 are now neatly boxed and stored. No longer will I have to trip over issues that fell off the closet shelf. I still don't even understand why we have 5,000,000 Rolling Stones, but that's another story.
Our file cabinet is finally cleaned. No more old statements from utility companies we haven't used in several years. No more contacts prescriptions from 1997. No more strange receipts for toilet paper that we bought 10 years ago. The poor shredder didn't survive File Cabinet Clean 2009.
I read 14 or 15 books in January. Thank god for library cards. I don't think I've ever read that many books in a month, and I read a lot.
Now I've moved to the really entertaining ways to keep myself busy. I took down all the bathroom light fixtures and washed them. Kayle can't survive without hairspray, so the lights in her bathroom were disgustingly crusty. I think she also had a glitter episode. That doesn't come out of grout even with massive toothbrush scrubbing. Once again I've spend hours cursing boys that can't aim when they pee and whatever dumbass invented white woodwork. Why can't anyone in my family put their grubby hands on the freaking doorknobs instead of the huge expanses of whiteness?
The dogs love having us home. They can chase birds all day long instead of waiting for us to get home from work to free them from the kennel. The kids like us home too, because their chore list is non-existent when I'm home all day and scrub things for entertainment. Maybe tomorrow I'll alphabetize their underwear.
Even thinking about underwear alphabetizing is a sure sign that I've been home long enough and desperately need a job.
We've managed to accomplish all sorts of odd things.
Issues of Rolling Stone going back to 1992 are now neatly boxed and stored. No longer will I have to trip over issues that fell off the closet shelf. I still don't even understand why we have 5,000,000 Rolling Stones, but that's another story.
Our file cabinet is finally cleaned. No more old statements from utility companies we haven't used in several years. No more contacts prescriptions from 1997. No more strange receipts for toilet paper that we bought 10 years ago. The poor shredder didn't survive File Cabinet Clean 2009.
I read 14 or 15 books in January. Thank god for library cards. I don't think I've ever read that many books in a month, and I read a lot.
Now I've moved to the really entertaining ways to keep myself busy. I took down all the bathroom light fixtures and washed them. Kayle can't survive without hairspray, so the lights in her bathroom were disgustingly crusty. I think she also had a glitter episode. That doesn't come out of grout even with massive toothbrush scrubbing. Once again I've spend hours cursing boys that can't aim when they pee and whatever dumbass invented white woodwork. Why can't anyone in my family put their grubby hands on the freaking doorknobs instead of the huge expanses of whiteness?
The dogs love having us home. They can chase birds all day long instead of waiting for us to get home from work to free them from the kennel. The kids like us home too, because their chore list is non-existent when I'm home all day and scrub things for entertainment. Maybe tomorrow I'll alphabetize their underwear.
Even thinking about underwear alphabetizing is a sure sign that I've been home long enough and desperately need a job.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Yesterday, my SIL, Heather, came over and we spent hours and hours and hours making Christmas cookies. I swear my pantry is overflowing with cookies even though I've been eating them pretty much non-stop all day.
They go so good with my morning coffee, my afternoon coffee, and maybe my evening coffee if all the caffeine doesn't start kicking in and waking me up.
This morning at 6:45, I hauled Ethan down to the snow route bus stop. After waiting about 10 minutes, another parent turned his car around and pulled up beside me to let me know there was a 2 hour delay. We did the whole thing again at 8:45, and this time the bus came. While I was getting Jake ready, we found out that the elementary schools were closed. Jake was thrilled, especially since middle and high schools were still open. We spent the entire day doing something over and over. He'd insist that he wanted to play outside, so we'd layer him up in all his snow clothes and he'd play outside for 10 minutes. Then he'd be completely frozen, so he'd come in and take everything off and wrap his hands around a mug of hot chocolate. Then we'd start over. I don't know why he went out in the first place, since the high today was a whopping 5 degrees. He is way braver than I am. I was quite happy inside with my coffee and the cookies.
This is the gloom from the back porch about an hour ago.
They go so good with my morning coffee, my afternoon coffee, and maybe my evening coffee if all the caffeine doesn't start kicking in and waking me up.
This morning at 6:45, I hauled Ethan down to the snow route bus stop. After waiting about 10 minutes, another parent turned his car around and pulled up beside me to let me know there was a 2 hour delay. We did the whole thing again at 8:45, and this time the bus came. While I was getting Jake ready, we found out that the elementary schools were closed. Jake was thrilled, especially since middle and high schools were still open. We spent the entire day doing something over and over. He'd insist that he wanted to play outside, so we'd layer him up in all his snow clothes and he'd play outside for 10 minutes. Then he'd be completely frozen, so he'd come in and take everything off and wrap his hands around a mug of hot chocolate. Then we'd start over. I don't know why he went out in the first place, since the high today was a whopping 5 degrees. He is way braver than I am. I was quite happy inside with my coffee and the cookies.This is the gloom from the back porch about an hour ago.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
It's the time of year when we have several deer come through the yard in the mornings and late afternoons. Some of them nibble the brush and some pull up chunks of the lawn. The quickest ones head straight for the bird feeder and suck out the seed, quickly snapping at any other deer that dare try to get some seed too. The young ones prefer the nice salad bar next to my front porch.
The cats don't like it when the deer are they close to the house. They line up in the front windows ready to protect me. I'm pretty sure the cats think they are much bigger than the deer.
***********
My niece is 2.5 years, and she eagerly awaits the day that she'll have her very own phone. On Thanksgiving she insisted on playing with Kayle's phone, because what pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-teen doesn't covet a pink blackberry.
The cats don't like it when the deer are they close to the house. They line up in the front windows ready to protect me. I'm pretty sure the cats think they are much bigger than the deer.***********
My niece is 2.5 years, and she eagerly awaits the day that she'll have her very own phone. On Thanksgiving she insisted on playing with Kayle's phone, because what pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-teen doesn't covet a pink blackberry.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
I adore little old ladies. This isn't about the sweet ladies who have a smile on their face and are pleased with life.
I detest crotchety old bats. This is about them.
"What the sale price on that? What's the sale price on that? What's the sale price on that? What's the sale price on that? What's the sale price on that?"
"Are you sure your register is right? Well, why isn't that marked down more? What do you mean all sales are final? What if decide I don't want it?"
I'm not sure what is so difficult to understand about the whole "ALL SALES FINAL" signs everywhere. And no, they're are not a joke or only meant for other less special people than the crotchety old bats. I'm NOT going to do a return for you, and I really don't give a crap if that means you'll never spend money in the store again. Like that's going to make a huge difference to a store that's closing. I'm quaking in my apron.
I also don't care if you complain about me to the managers, because I've answered the same question from you 57 times and I'm starting to get an attitude. Complain away. You won't hurt my feelings or make me feel bad, because I'm pretty much numb to your type anyway. Plus, I carry a secret weapon - a little pocket ninja. When you piss me off, I imagine him leaping out of my pocket and slashing your eyeballs with his little sharp ninja swords while I kick away your walker. You should be glad I have a pocket ninja and a good imagination, because otherwise I might be the one ripping out your eyeballs, and my fingernails are shredded and dull right now. It'd hurt a lot. Hurt you, not me.
I detest crotchety old bats. This is about them.
"What the sale price on that? What's the sale price on that? What's the sale price on that? What's the sale price on that? What's the sale price on that?"
"Are you sure your register is right? Well, why isn't that marked down more? What do you mean all sales are final? What if decide I don't want it?"
I'm not sure what is so difficult to understand about the whole "ALL SALES FINAL" signs everywhere. And no, they're are not a joke or only meant for other less special people than the crotchety old bats. I'm NOT going to do a return for you, and I really don't give a crap if that means you'll never spend money in the store again. Like that's going to make a huge difference to a store that's closing. I'm quaking in my apron.
I also don't care if you complain about me to the managers, because I've answered the same question from you 57 times and I'm starting to get an attitude. Complain away. You won't hurt my feelings or make me feel bad, because I'm pretty much numb to your type anyway. Plus, I carry a secret weapon - a little pocket ninja. When you piss me off, I imagine him leaping out of my pocket and slashing your eyeballs with his little sharp ninja swords while I kick away your walker. You should be glad I have a pocket ninja and a good imagination, because otherwise I might be the one ripping out your eyeballs, and my fingernails are shredded and dull right now. It'd hurt a lot. Hurt you, not me.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
I know an amazing woman - Jen. She's fought and conquered breast cancer twice. She climbed a mountain while going through chemo. She's walked tons of miles in 5 years of 3 day walks for cancer. And now she's going through radiation for spots on her brain.
She handles this all with incredible grace, although I'm not sure she always feels she has that grace. Her blog entries* about her fight ooze this tremendous determination. She'll win again. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind.
I wish her many more hikes with Greg and her adorable dogs followed by beer and the Red Sox.
*I'm not linking to her blog because I don't want to do that without her permission, but if you stop in Jen, let me know if it's okay.
She handles this all with incredible grace, although I'm not sure she always feels she has that grace. Her blog entries* about her fight ooze this tremendous determination. She'll win again. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind.
I wish her many more hikes with Greg and her adorable dogs followed by beer and the Red Sox.
*I'm not linking to her blog because I don't want to do that without her permission, but if you stop in Jen, let me know if it's okay.
